<Quilly> I'm trying to follow a conversation that has such notes as "monkeys!" and another one involving abusive!watson :P
<Piesek> neither of them look like the possums I know
<Piesek> haaa
<Milli> aws
<Quilly> My brain is confused.
<leya> Abusive!Watson is a monkey?
<Quilly> Or maybe my groin. I can't tell.
<Quilly> XD
<leya> Abusive monkey is a watson?
<Quilly> No! Monkeys are good!
<leya> OMG
<Piesek> Holmes tried to replace Watson with a monkey. It turns out to be a bad idea.
<leya> I KNOW WHY WATSON IS ABUSIVE
<leya> OH NO
<Milli> lol you picked the photo after mine in the google image search XD
<leya> WIAT
<leya> I LIKE YOUR IDEA BETTER
<Piesek> hahaha
<leya> he replaces watson with a monkey
<leya> http://media.photobucket.com/image/evil%20monkey/ninjakitty_5/evil-monkey.jpg THIS MONKEY
<Piesek> Oh man I wish I could draw right now.
<Piesek> hahaha
<leya> MISSUS HUDSOOOOOOOON! THE MONKEY IS STARING AT ME AGAIN
* leya gets a emntal image of RDJ holmes and evil monkey just staring at each other O.O
<leya> brb, dying
<Piesek> See, what I picture is this:
<Piesek> I picture Holmes going smugly up to Watson with a monkey dressed to look vaguely LIKE Watson
<Quilly> Ahahhahah XD
<Piesek> and going, "Yes, I'm very happy with my new sidekick, so you and your heterosexual marriage can just SHOVE IT."
<leya> Does it have a small trike?
<leya> please tell me it ahs a small rike
<Piesek> and then Watson tries to pretend Holmes HASN'T gone off the deep-end and politely excuses himself
<<Quilly> Does it have a monkey-stache?
<Piesek> Yes of course.
<leya> MONKEYSTAAAAACHE
* leya dies laughing
<Quilly> eee!
<Milli> Does the monkey have a mustache?
<Quilly> I just asked that!
(%) leya changes topic to 'Does it have a monkey-stache? | Remember kids! The safeword is "Bananas"'
<Milli> omg...I'm not the only person thinking that
<Quilly> hahaha XD
<Piesek> and as soon as Watson goes the monkey just like rips into Holmes and starts messing around in his experiments. And throwing feces, of course.
<leya> Of course
<Quilly> ffff
<Quilly> *cries tears of joy*
<leya> SOMEONE
<leya> PROMPT
<leya> THIS
<leya> NOW
<Piesek> hahaha
<Quilly> People are… going to be so confused by that topic XD No more than the previous topic tho
<Quilly> Which is why it is amazing
<leya> OH GOD I WOULD KILL IF WATSON MAKES SOME REMARK ABOUT THE RESEMBLANCE TO THE SHREDDED-CLOTHING WEARING FECES THROWING MONKEY AND HOLMES
<Quilly> YES
<Piesek> Of course!
<Piesek> Like no one would even realize Holmes is having a hard time, because they'd go into 221B and be all, "...I don't really notice anything different."
<leya> Watson! WATSON! He keeps stealing my trousers!
<leya> Watson *buttons lip*
[3:07pm] <Piesek> "You have a barter system, don't you?"
<leya> And leave the most deplorable mess everywhere
<leya> IT STOLE MY WIGH
<leya> *wig
<Piesek> and Holmes would probably be all stubborn and STILL try bringing the monkey to crime scenes and the like
<leya> Ad lestrade is all WTF IS THAT?  "Your mental superior"
<Piesek> "Well, my mental superior just stuck the corpse's fingers in it's arse."
<leya> LMAO
<leya> I mistread that as stuck its finger int he corpses arse for some reason
<leya> Oh god
<Piesek> hahaha that is also a possibility
<leya> the monkey must have an obscene fascination with clarkey
<leya> I dont' care if it just follows him around adoringly, or whips it out and starts masturbating furiously at the sight of him
<leya> I JUST WANT
<Piesek> HAHAHA
<Piesek> oh my god
<Piesek> yes
<Quilly> Nooo clarky will be so traumatized!!!
<Quilly> Oh poor clarky!
<leya> I don't know sir, it's rather flattering in a way
<<Piesek> It's flattering until it tries to make him smell its fingers, or starts trying to get things out of his hair and ears.
<leya> LMAO
<leya> SMELL ITS FINGERS
<Piesek> see
* leya has no idea why but that just struck her as pure a-grade comedy gold
<Quilly> *sobs hysterically*
<Piesek> this here is obviously the best purpose a monkey could serve
<leya> CAN IT RIDE PAST ON GLADSTONE AT SOME POINT?
<Piesek> YES.
<Piesek> Most definitely YES>
<Piesek> and remember, through all of this it's dressed as a Victorian gentleman, complete with stache
<Quilly> Monkeys with PIPES
<leya> OMG
<leya> BUBBLE PIPE?
<Quilly> Psh, Holmes' pipe XD
<leya> I CAN HAS BUBBLE PIPE SMOKIGN JACKET MONKEY
<Piesek> I'm Izzarding now
<leya> ....wearing one of Watson's vests as a smoking jacket? or dressign gown?
<Piesek> "Guns don't kill people, monkeys do (if they've got a gun)!"
<leya> IDEK any more, but it must wear something of watsons
<Piesek> Vests.
<Piesek> Definitely a vest.
<Piesek> And a hat, preferably.
<Quilly> Indubitably!
<Piesek> And Holmes would fashion him a tiny cane
<Piesek> which he would use to hit people.
<Quilly> That he would use to crack people's shins.
<Quilly> lol
<Quilly> psychic
<Piesek> hahaha
<leya> "A hat, Holmes?  really?"  "Wiggins gave it to him." Holmes puffed his pipe contentedly, seeming unconcerned with matters of simian dress.  "I think it rather suits him"
<Piesek> hahaha
<leya> "It's not a HIM it's a monkey it's an IT."
<Piesek> "How... what's the moustache made of?" "Oh, nothing... exceptmaybeyourmoustachetrimmings."
<leya> "It's a HIM and its my new Watson"
<Piesek> XD
<Quilly> YOU mADE ME ACCIDENTALLY POST MONKEYS IN MY PRON
<Piesek> hahahaha
<Quilly> Now Fang is going to be so confused!
<Piesek> Holmes meticulously collected every bit of moustache Watson ever trimmed off in the hopes that it would one day be useful. The day he got the monkey WAS THAT DAY.
<Quilly> Hahaah
<leya> http://fuckyeahrdj.tumblr.com/post/1017107433
<leya> ACTUAL WORDS OF RDJ
<Piesek> hahahaha
<Piesek> HOLMES THEN REPLACES ALL OF SCOTLAND YARD WITH EQUIVALENT MONKEYS.
<Piesek> "HOLMES WHY ARE THERE MONKEYS EVERYWHERE?"
<Piesek> "BECAUSE THEY'RE MORE COMPETANT THAN YOU! A little more prone to throwing feces, BUT MORE COMPETANT NONETHELESS."
<Piesek> ooor
<Piesek> he just starts replacing the immediate people in his life
<Piesek> Mycroft monkey (fat monkey, obvs)
<Piesek> Irene monkey (lady monkey)
<Piesek> Mrs. Hudson monkey (old lady monkey)
<Quilly> A whole troop of them!
<Piesek> Yesss
<Piesek> and no one has the heart to tell Holmes how worried they are about him.
<Piesek> Mostly because they are too terrified of the monkeys to approach him.
<leya> lmao
<leya> GODDAMN ITTABBY WAKE UP
<leya> WE NEED A PS OF RDJ  SITTING IN HIS THINKING POSE BEING MONKEYGROOMED
<Piesek> haaaaaaa
<Piesek> yes
<Piesek> Okay, now I really want someone to prompt all of this.
<leya> http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_l8eht7YZ8C1qbkiyvo1_1280.png?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAJ6IHWSU3BX3X7X3Q&Expires=1300944639&Signature=HuTeJkiexgzV10ki89nMJuSDDi8%3D second or third pic down onthe right.
<leya> MONKEYGROOM